Der Rat Kellar

PEOPLE OF LIVEJOURNAL.

I tortured myself and made a 2 and a half minute animated video in three days (with no storyboard to follow) for They Might Be Giants' "Can't Keep Johnny Down" video contest. I don't expect it'll even make runner up (or even be qualified...technically, it was two minutes past the deadline. THANKS, youtube), but I don't care. I made a freakin' animated music video in less than a week. WATCH THIS.



OKAY DOCTOR WHO AND WINE AND SLEEP NOW.

MY UNDERPANTS.

Fuck you, Minnesotan.

The Big Lebowski.

Here's what I think happened at the end of Inception.

Cillian Murphy: Guys, uh, if you don't mind, I have to stop off in Marin County before I ruin my dad's company, etc.
Leo Dicaprio: Uh, wait, that's not in the script. Um.
*Cillian Murphy runs off set to Heidi's house. Heidi is inside, doing what she does best: eating a giant pile of nachos and calling the "Man vs. Food" guy a pussy*
Heidi: I could eat that in half the time you did, you little bitch...
Cillian: *outside the french doors* HEIIIIIDIIIIIIII
Heidi: Woody. There seems to be a man outside yelling his head off for me. Why aren't you barking?
Woody: I'm chewing my butt. What the Hell do you want from me?
Heidi: You're every bit the watchdog I hoped you'd be. *opens the door* Why, Cillian Murphy!
Cillian Murphy: Heidi, you've got to help me. I spent the last three hours in a movie with Ellen Page and Leonardo DiCaprio in a dream sequence imagined by someone with all the imagination of a desk lamp.
Heidi: Poor, poor boy. I do wonder what I can do about all that.
Cillian: * stripping* I have a good idea...

[We interrupt the rest of this fantasy on the grounds that it is about to get way, way too weird. Nachos were never, ever meant to go up there, and neither were feather dusters. We at CBS apologize profusely, and present to you this relatively clean [and only mildly disturbing] video of Gary Low instead)

A meat dress.

I would try as best as I could to re-enact this Sealab scene with it.

When you buy a costume for your dog and yet still have no idea what you're going to be/do for Halloween a week before...it might be time to reevaluate your life.

My mother took me into a Hot Topic one day. Entering a Hot Topic is embarrassing in itself, but she proceeded to the underwear on display and, after surveying different band-themed thongs for a few minutes, asked me in her finest outside voice, "Heidi, what's a Godsmack?"

Because, my darling, when you brought me that toast the other morning...I looked into your eyes, and I could see a National Health eyeball. And I loved you like I never done...like I had never done before.