So, when exactly are they going to change the National Geographic channel's name to The EVERYTHING IS GOING TO KILL YOU channel? Here's the damn schedule:

~show about impending ice age that will KILL EVERYONE ON EARTH WHEN IT STARTS
~show about a volcano that will KILL EVERYONE IN AMERICA WHEN IT ERUPTS
~show about an earthquake that will KILL EVERYONE IN LA WHEN IT HITS
~promo for upcoming show about how the hippopotamus will KILL YOU IF YOU EVER GO TO AFRICA
~another promo for a plane that crashed in New York and how the PILOT KILLED EVERYONE BECAUSE HE WAS DOING WHAT HE LEARNED IN FLIGHT SCHOOL
~Oh, and Megastructures. THAT WILL KILL YOU IF THEY FALL ON TOP OF YOU

So, if I so much as step outside...let's see, here... I will be flash-frozen, fried, eaten by a river cow, and then an airplane is going to fall on me. Wow. What a great chain of events to smoke a cigar through.

EDIT: Aaand after posting this I saw a special on how the universe is going to KILL EVERYTHING EVER BY EXPANDING UNTIL EVEN MERE ATOMS BREAK APART (although that'd be pretty cool. Remind me to light up for that, too.)