I forgot completely to tell you all about Confused Sandwich Guy yesterday! goldenmoonbear's post reminded me.

I was at Safeway's deli counter, and ordered up a "primo Italiano" sandwich (read: "some regular sandwich we slap a bunch of olive spread on").

Sandwich Guy: Uh.... *stands there blankly for about 20 seconds*
Me: Ital..um..
Guy: OH! *he goes to get the olive spread, and then stops again. He closes his eyes for another ten seconds, then starts making the sandwich. He gets the meat out, and then stops yet again for another good 20 seconds. Realizing he's just put the wrong meat on the sandwich, he removes it and puts ham on*
Me: Want me to read you the--
Guy: No. No. *counts backwards in his head (presumably)* Oh. *puts lettuce on*

At this point I am pondering saying something like, "Say, nevermind, you are clearly having trouble with the mechanics of my sandwich", but I bite my tongue because I'm just fuckin' hungry. He finally finishes, and stares at me.

Him: *stare*
Me: *stares back*
Him: You wanna pay for that here?
Me: Please.
Him: okay. *rings me up, I pay, and he stops YET AGAIN.*
Him: *stare*
Me: ....
Him: Oh, uh, want a bag?
Me: YES.
Him: Okay.

Upon hearing my answer, he produced a bag and opened it, instructing me to go ahead and put the sandwich in.